The Art of Slowing Down and Remembering Your Connection
by Melissa D’Aunoy
Sunsets on the beach, slow walks in the park, dancing by moonlight…so romantic, right?! How’s the romance department in your relationship these days? Is it lacking? Null and void? Absent? Is your romantic streak reserved for those white beach vacations, cruise excursions or strolls under the Eiffel Tower? We all know this, but sometimes we need a reminder.
You don’t have to get away to have romance. Urban Dictionary defines romance as “a state of connection between two people that is brought about by thoughtful sentimental gestures that mean something to one or both parties; gestures that communicate care and understanding and love, as well as, a desire to reach out and connect through the heart with a partner. The purpose of romance is to show the person you love that you’re thinking about them, that you would like to them to slow down so you can connect with them. Romantic gestures are usually simple and sweet that cause your partner to remember who you are, and why they fell in love with you in the first place.”
Slowing down, simple, sweet, thoughtful, connection – these are key.
We live life rushed, busy and disconnected. Romance is important and doesn’t need to be extravagant or expensive. Simple and sweet! It’s taking the opportunities to slow down and connect with one another right there in the space you share every day.
Stopping your partner for a slow dance in the living room while making dinner
A spontaneous picnic in the park or showing up at the office with that picnic lunch
Rose petals, candles, massage oils in the bedroom for lovemaking
A handwritten note left by the coffeepot
Movie night and cuddling in your own bedroom with the doors locked
A glance and wink across the room during a dinner party
Naked yoga, naked housework, or naked spaghetti making together when the kids are away
Going for an afternoon drive, windows down, music loud, holding hands
Sitting together on a porch swing silently rocking and enjoying just sitting next to one another
Sweet and simple!
Don’t let your lack of money or time for those getaways and “romantic” trips rob you of the romance that is available to you in the everyday moments of your life. And don’t let the hurts, the offenses, the misunderstandings keep you from the romance that is yours!
Relationships can be hard. Through thick and thin, through the joys and the trials. It all can make us weary and loveless, but you can turn it all around by taking small steps back towards your partner. Simple, slow steps back into each other’s arms. Romance requires vulnerability and taking 100% ownership of the relationship that you want. Stop waiting for your partner to do something. Be the change you want to see in your relationship. It can be scary to extend yourself in this vulnerable way but do it anyway. Life is too short to wait for someone else to move.
Why did you fall in love with your partner? What drew you to one another? Remember the time when all you wanted to do was be with each other?
Remember his smile when you first met him, remember the way she ran her hands through her hair. Think on the things you loved about one another, the things that attracted you to one another, the kindnesses you offered one another. When two people in a relationship move toward one another with small, loving gestures – magic happens! Or maybe you are the only one moving toward in your relationship right now – don’t be discouraged because your movement toward, with kindness and love, can awaken and change the heart of your partner and relight the romance that has gone dim in your relationship.
Remember that romance “causes your partner to remember who you are, and why they fell in love with you in the first place.” Romance to remember – slowing to capture the simple, sweet moments all around you that reconnect and deepen your love for one another.
The Kitchen Table Counseling and Life Coaching is a faith-based counseling and life coaching organization located in Lafayette, Louisiana. Marc and Melissa D’Aunoy is committed to working with Christian couples to understand and work out the issues a couple faces in life. The Kitchen Table also has life coaches ready to help an individual walk through life in a healthier way.
Visit their website at thekitchentablecounseling.com today to find out more of what happens around The Kitchen Table.