Treading the treacherous dating seas
By Yvonne Michel Hirsch
The chemistry is there, and the connection feels so real. Judd Apatow could get material for his next Rom-Com from the first couple of dates…heck, maybe even a Nicholas Sparks tearjerker the romance was so strong! Then crickets.
A week goes by, and there’s an “I’m so sorry, things got crazy. How are you? I’ve missed you.”
Yes! You reply with, “No worries. Same here. I’ve missed you, too.” Not that that’s true. You weren’t too busy to reach out, just too afraid. And who could blame you?
The dating waters are more like treacherous seas these days. Giving too much away too soon could leave you drowning in tears.
You get no response. Gone again. But don’t worry, they’ll be back in a few days…maybe a week, maybe two.
“Good Morning,” “Good Night” and “How was your day?” will fill your inbox. Oooh and maybe even, “Wanna get a bite to eat?” Unfortunately, what they’re feeding you is breadcrumbs.
In case you haven’t heard, breadcrumbing is the latest term for one of the coldest dating trends on the scene at the moment. According to Urban Dictionary, breadcrumbing is “the act of sending out flirtatious but noncommittal text messages (i.e., “breadcrumbs”) to members of the opposite sex in order to lure a sexual partner without expending much effort.”
It’s torture. Every message is like proof of life – a reminder of the undeniable connection. It’s a ray of hope that they’ve come to see how perfect you’d be together…but it’s not that. It’s a dirty way of keeping you around until they find the one they want to put the effort into.
Maybe it works for you, though. Maybe you don’t want any more from them than to be on the hook, waiting to be reeled in at their whim. No judgment here.
American novelist Stephen Chbosky said, “We accept the love we think we deserve.” I think in most cases that’s the love we give, until we know better.
Look at what you’re giving and look at what you take. Is it all about the love?